Build your support network
It’s a lonely job being a researcher. Sometimes you can spend days or weeks by yourself. Or you might be surrounded by participants, peers and colleagues yet still feel isolated.
While some of us function well without many others in our lives, most of us need company in some form or another, on or offline. That might be for friendship, moral support, advice, or solidarity.
Today’s task is to work out who are the lucky individuals that get to be in your squad.
You will need your diary, address book, and a notebook for this activity. Along with your phone or computer to search online. You will be considering who can be in your support network, alongside ways to broaden your contacts and social interests, based on your energy, ability, budget, and enthusiasm.
Friends
If it’s been a while since you’ve caught up with your friends, or if you’re worried your friendships are suffering because of work or study, set aside time in your diary to meet up in person, catch up on the phone, or send them an email letting them know how you are and wishing them all the best. Repeat this activity across the year, making sure key catch up dates, birthdays and other significant events are prioritised in your diary. Ping yourself reminders if you’re likely to forget. If you feel bad you’ve not been in touch for a while it’s fine to tell friends you’re starting afresh this year and hope to be a bigger part of their lives.
Sometimes travelling for work, moving for a job or study, or the passing of time makes it difficult to make new friends. Setting aside time to care for yourself via hobbies, social clubs, talks or other events also has the knock on effect of being able to meet new people, which in turn can allow friendships to blossom. And you never know what new connections you’ll be making as your research journey grows.
Family
You may still have close contact with your family, but if you are separated due to your work or theirs, being able to stay in touch via letter, email, or phone if you can help you feel connected. You may want to organise a regular time you call or message as something to look forward during your week, or keep all channels open so you catch up as often as you’re able (this may be useful if you’re living or working in areas where connectivity is a problem).
Some people use study as a means of escape, or become estranged from their family over time. In such cases you may want to spend this year creating what the author Armistead Maupin calls a ‘logical family’ – a friendship group that becomes your chosen kin. Stand Alone can help if you are struggling.
Colleagues
These may already be in your friendship group, or they may just be the folk you work with. Finding allies you can sound off to, have a break with, learn from, or share the workload with can be vital not just for your emotional wellbeing but for your career progression too.
If you already have a few friends or colleagues but want more people in your life you could organise a meet up on or offline where everyone you know brings someone they know so you can all find others to connect with. Or you might play matchmaker introducing people you meet to others you already know that have something in common.
Check within your institution for opportunities to become a mentor or be mentored yourself. Peer support groups, committees, and other professional networks might be open to you where you can broaden your connections. As you move through this task either apply to vacancies or send an email to express your interest, or create a list to chase up later.
Professional organisations and networks
All of us can find professional organisations and societies helpful for continued development, conferences, and updates on policy and practice. If you are an independent researcher, early career researcher, starting a new job, or returning to work it may be especially helpful to identify professional networks that can support you. Those might be online special interest groups, subject focused groups, or peer support networks.
Or you may find professional bodies or organisations within or outside your workplace provide the opportunity to make connections and find like-minded individuals you could collaborate or commiserate with. Societies and professional organisations or workplace study groups are also an excellent way to connect, so for today’s task search online, ask colleagues, and speak to your librarian (if available) to identify different societies and organisations you might join. Many offer online talks, or other in-person events you may want to try before committing yourself to anything. If you’re struggling to find these networks, you could try setting up your own group and see who joins in.
Social media
Hashtags are a fantastic way to find folk. Bluesky, Instagram, LinkedIn, Mastodon, Discord and Facebook in particular are used by academics to share ideas, ask for help, get advice, and foster opportunities. Depending on the platform, you don’t have to join in a chat, instead use hashtags to locate others and read what they’re saying. Or you can use hashtags yourself to be part of bigger conversations or broadcast that you’re in need of a chat, reassurance, or assistance. Part of today’s task may include searching for different platforms, groups, hashtags and lists – or asking others to recommend some.
Pets
You only need a few minutes on social media to find the funny pet videos and heartwarming stories. Academic pets are always popular and are often key to our wellbeing. If you’re unable to own a pet due to cost or housing regulations you might consider volunteering with an animal shelter, or enquiring about therapy pets for your institution. Some researchers, particularly postgraduates and those on sabbatical, sign up to pet sitting services where they stay in other people’s homes, caring for their pets while they’re away. While that may not be on your horizon today, it could be an idea you develop over the year – or incorporate into your planning so it can become some of your writing time, or a holiday.
Other places and spaces of connection and care
Your support network may include some or all of the above, or extend to other people or groups that can assist you. Those might include a physiotherapist, counsellor, or medic if you need ongoing health care. Or a personal trainer, beauty therapist, hairdresser or barber. You may have regular appointments scheduled to support your wellbeing and personal care needs, but if this is something you tend to forget, use today’s Researcher Renew task to make future appointments. Alternatively, if you’ve always fancied the idea of a regular massage or manicure, research these and identify local services.
Faith may be important to you, either in regular on or offline services, social events, or other religious activities through the year. Faith leaders can also be invaluable in helping you connect, or putting your skills to good use within the community. Some people find volunteering helps build connections; while others join in social clubs, walking groups, hobbies, or sports activities. Within today’s group, either identify groups you’d like to join and perhaps even sign up, or research potential hobbies that might be available. If you’re based in a university or other large organisation they may have a range of clubs or facilities open to you.
Community centres, museums, galleries and parks are a good place to identify talks, events and activities to either share with your support network, or use to meet new people, many of which will be low or no cost. These may be especially useful if you’ve recently moved, have ended a relationship, are a new parent, a carer, are approaching retirement, at risk of redundancy, or wish to feel less lonely.
Within this task, take time to look online for events or activities that match your interests, and note different locations that provide them. Consider signing up to mailing lists for information about future events, which may be things you’d not ordinarily consider, but might be thought provoking or fun.
If you found this difficult
It may be your social life is sorted, in which case, enjoy! However, if you are struggling to make connections due to ill health or disability it’s worth being critical about the pressure to be endlessly social. Not everyone wants to be, and sometimes you need space to simply focus on your own needs. We talked earlier in the month about letting go and that may include friendships or professional relationships that are not working out for you.
Alternatively, you may crave connection but distance, disability, or prejudice may keep you isolated. In this case being able to stay in touch remotely with those you do care about can be a lifeline. And if you have nobody you can use the social media options above to start finding your crew online. The advantage with this is you can time contact to when energy and connectivity allows.
We often assume making friendships and other connections is easy, which for some people is true. For many it can be a struggle due to shyness, communication and language barriers, isolation, chronic illness, or disability. Much advice that does exist assumes people are able to afford regular, in-person social activities, often in public places, that may be based around bars, clubs, sporting events, or other busy social spaces.
This may be challenging if you struggle in such environments – or if they just don’t interest you. It may be finding social activities on or offline that match your special interests, hobbies, needs and abilities may be better. Possibly establishing these yourself if they’re not readily available. Some people find taking a buddy with them can make it easier, or asking for introductions. If you’re already in an established group or network you may want to consider ways of reaching out to others, noting what would make it easier or safer for them to attend.
For some of us, no matter how well-connected we are, we can still struggle if our mental health is poor. If thinking about friendships or building networks has made you feel inadequate or anxious and/or you’re struggling with mental health issues you might use it as a prompt to see your doctor or speak to a counsellor if one is available to you. Alternatively mental health charities can be used as a source of self care – searching for these online will also bring up free resources you can use to help yourself. There is more advice on how to manage your mental health throughout Being Well In Academia but particularly in Chapters 5 – 7, and a stepwise guide to making your support network in Chapter 2.
You may also need a support network because you are being bullied, harassed, abused or otherwise discriminated against at work. Aside from using as many of the options listed above, making use of your union, professional organisations, or charities that support those being harmed at work can be both necessary for your mental health, and vital to ensure you are not harmed personally or professionally. There is much more information on how to keep yourself safe by me in “Do the best you can – researcher safety in a pandemic” (in Su-ming Khoo and Helen Kara’s edited series Researching in the Age of Covid-19 Vol.2) and in Chapter 6 of The Research Companion alongside training sessions based on my PEEPS Model for Safety and wellbeing in research, teaching and pastoral care. Please get in touch if this is something I can help you with.
If you want to have others around you, make this the year you build connections. It may feel hard to make that first move, or to say or type that initial hello, but by the end of the year you may be blessed with others whose lives you’ll be enriching and who’ll be cheerleading you in return.
Here’s a template for you to create your own support network. You’re in the centre, with spaces outside where you can note down all the people, organisations, charities or other resources who can bring you comfort, advice, reassurance and care.
